This is probably way too long for a blog post but my posting it serves 2 purposes. One is that I type out my post lesson notes for convenience of a couple of people in the study who actually want to read them. I send them via email but thought others might want them as well. I doubt it but I’m typing the notes regardless so I figure I might as well just post them. Second, typing the notes out helps me organize what I actually covered and what needs to be covered in the coming week.
In any case, please continue reading if you’re one of the few people who requested these notes and if you’re not one of those who requested the notes, then it’s totally up to you. 
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We’ve been spending a lot of time, maybe too much time, in Acts 17 and Paul’s visit to Athens and invitation to Mars Hill to speak but there is so much to learn from this passage of scripture that it’s hard not to spend time here. My purpose this week was to explore some ideas about how Paul engaged the Athenians and how we ought to be engaging people. Since we’ve been trying to look at what it looks like to live out our faith as sanctified believers in Christ we have to take a look at what our interaction with others look like.
We’ve been talking about the importance of witnessing to others and our need to just give the message without having the pressure of “closing the deal” and “complete the sale” but getting to the point of sharing this message isn’t always easy. How do you get from “Hello my name is Bob…” to “Jesus died that you might live…”?
In Acts 17:17 Luke writes about Paul in Athens, “So he was reasoning in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles and in the market place every day with those who happened to be present.” I want to highlight that Paul “reasoned” with the Jews and those he came across in the market place “daily”. Remember that Paul was killing time in Athens as he was sent their by the brethren until things cooled down a little bit (17:10) because Paul had once again caused a stir with his faithful preaching of the gospel. Now in Athens, Paul is stirred up because of the idolatry in Athens (17:16) and this presents him with a strong desire to talk to people. This led him to the synagogues and the market place daily. He may have hit the synagogues to talk with believing Jews to impress upon them the need to preach the gospel to the idolatrous Athenians or he may have been talking with unbelieving Jews to explain Christ from the Old Testament as the promised Messiah or it could have been a little of both. As for the market place, it’s clear Paul went there for one reason and once reason only. To talk to people about what was preeminent in their lives and then tell them about Jesus.
It’s easy to think that there is a disconnect here between Paul and us. Afterall, you might say, “I’m not a preacher!” or “I’m not an evangelist!”. Remember however, our very life is to be a witness for Christ and His good news. I’ll grant you that evangelists are specially gifted for the task but we all have the task of being witnesses and “doing” evangelism in our circles of influence and with those we meet daily.
With that in mind I thought I thought it would be good to think through some of the issues that Paul might have been an expert at while meeting with people on a daily basis while looking for an opportunity to share Jesus with them.
It’s worth spending a moment first to give some thought to a statement you may have heard before that goes something like, “you can’t argue somebody into the kingdom”. It’s kind of a loaded question because when you hear, you automatically think of two people screaming at each other with red, snarled faces and spit flying. The rejoinder to this statement would be something like, “you have to love people into kingdom”. The idea is, even if you assume arguing is just a reasonable discussion, that you have to reach people emotionally rather than intellectually. You love them and the Spirit of God will use that to draw them. While that is most definitely true, it’s also true to say that God uses many things to draw people into His kingdom and Acts 17 is a definite example of Paul reasoning with people in order to convince them of the truthfulness of Jesus and His message. In fact, the entire discussion before those at Mars Hill is a carefully crafted argument that Paul lays out, starting with God as the creator of all things and ending with the resurrection of Jesus. I have no doubt that this is the same line of reasoning that Paul used in the market place daily and is a wonderful example of the importance of engaging those around us in dialog in the hopes of sharing Jesus with them.
Knows How to Listen – 1 Peter 3:15, Philippians 2:3
- Pay attention for “Gee I wonder…” statements
- “How could that terrible disaster happen?”
- “How could they have committed such a crime?”
- “How could they get through life with that disability?”
- Be prepared with some dialog starters
- “Do you ever think about spiritual things?”
- “Do you ever wonder about life after death?”
- “What do you think it means to be Christian?”
- Practice the following…
- Be gentle & kind
- We could be wrong on some points
- Be understanding where possible and not inappropriately dogmatic
- “That’s a good point”
- “I’m sympathetic to that”
- Avoid the following…
- One upping
- belittling the person’s world view
- Using too many words
- Using too few words
In order to dialog with people for the purpose of talking about Jesus we must be good listeners. 1 Peter 3:15 states, “but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence.” This implies a few things when you consider this verse in the context of a dialog. One, is that somewhere in the course of the conversation the subject of Jesus comes up and that you’ve expressed a deep trust in Him. Second, is that when they ask you about this hope, you must actually listen and have been listening so that you’ll know just what kind of answer to give.
We can be pretty bad at listening. Sometimes we ask questions just so we can talk. “So what’s new with you? Nothing huh. Well let me tell you about me!” Or we listen but our response is equally as selfish because we listen with an ear of one upping the other person. “Sinus infection huh? Well, I was puking for days and had to go to the ER!”. Listening is an art that requires a great deal of discipline. Especially when you factor in the times where I’m just tired and aren’t interested in a long conversation or when I really don’t care. Be on guard for selfish listening. Philippians 2:3 states that we should “do nothing from selfishness…but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourself.” That’s a good verse for me to keep in mind when I’m talking with others. J
Let’s assume however that you are a good listener. A good listener and you’ve had a good night sleep and you’re feeling confident in your walk with Christ. How do you just start talking to people about Jesus? You could just ask people. There’s nothing wrong with that but depending on the person that might not be the best starting point. It’s probably worth mentioning at this point that when it comes to talking to people about Jesus, this is not a one size fits all approach. You’re not me and I’m not you and people are not computers. Approaches I’m comfortable with might not be comfortable for you and visa versa. Some approaches might work with some people but not on others. This is why it’s important to know what you believe, be humble in your approach and listen carefully with the intent of maneuvering the conversation in order to bring up Jesus. Also, when conversing be genuine. Don’t forget that you’re dealing with real people who were made in the image of God. Don’t pose questions in such a way that would appear like a gimmick. They’ll know if you’re not being genuine.
For starters you can ask people a direct question. You can ask them if they think about spiritual things or if they ever think about life after death. There’s no end to the kinds of starter questions you could ask. It’s wise though to have some kind of plan as to where to go after they respond with a simple “yes” otherwise you’ll have a very awkward silence. J When we were volunteering at one of the Michigan football games this past Fall I was riding in a golf cart with a 19-year-old and asked him if he went to church anywhere. Unfortunately I asked that question without having must have a plan of where to go from there. He answered that he went from time to time at a church back home. While he was answering, I was both listening and praying about a followup question. Thankfully one came to mind. So I asked him if he thought going to church was a waste of time or was it helpful. He answered by telling my why he struggled believing in God and some of the things he’d experienced in life that caused him to struggle, etc. From there I had lot’s of directions I could go but each one provided me an opportunity to talk to him about the nature of God and then ultimately the reason Jesus came.
Sometimes you may be in the midst of a conversation and someone say’s something rhetorical like, “how could they do that to them?” or “I would never do that to my husband” or “how could that happen?”. You know the kind of question I’m talking about. They’re questions that really do question fundamental realities in life. These questions are really invitations for us to ask questions back in a gentle way. The first question above supposes that people are not evil. The second supposes that the person themselves are not capable of certain evils and the third supposes that God might not have been capable of preventing the disaster if he exists at all.
In the study, Morgan mentioned how someone she was inviting to church from where she works told her that she was pretty sure that the ceiling would fall down if she came to church. So I asked what question she could’ve asked back to her if she had thought about it or had more time to engage the person. She said should could’ve asked “why?” which is the correct question. From the statement it’s pretty clear that the person she was talking to have a view of God that isn’t very attractive. He’s the boy on the ant hill just waiting to get us for being a nuisance to him. As you can see, there are literally thousands of opportunities for these kinds of conversations to either start or shift toward God and Jesus. The only question is whether or not I’m paying enough attention to seize the opportunity.
It’s important to remember to remember to stay in the driver’s seat to some degree. It’s usually not good when either we’re dominating the conversation or they are. If we talk to much then we run the risk of overloading the other person with information. From time to time we need to ask if what we’re saying makes sense. If they talk to much then we’ll lose the opportunity to correct misunderstandings that they have and offer some biblical perspective.
Knows How to Answer a Fool – Proverbs 26:4-5
- It’s okay to push back a little when you sense the person is being disingenuous.
- Don’t be defensive – Be wise as serpents but gentle as doves
Sometimes, in the course of a conversation we’ll face some challenging people. Some are like the fool of Proverbs 26:4 that we want to be careful to respond differently than. If they’re being angry then we ought not to respond that way. If they’re using childish arguments we must remain humble enough to keep from responding childishly even though the temptation is great. If they use bad logic, we cannot otherwise we will be like him…a fool.
It should be pointed out though that pushing back from time to time is ok. If you’re talking with someone who is being disingenuous it’s fair to call them out on it. Let’s say you’re talking with someone who is a steam roller and is constantly saying “you Christians should stop telling people they’re wrong” and “you Christians should let people live their lives” etc and they persist. It’s fair to be aggressive if needed to get their attention and ask, “so are you telling me I’m wrong?”. If they’re not wise enough to see the trap they’ll answer yes. At which point you can then ask them, “why are you telling me I shouldn’t tell other people they’re wrong but you can tell me that I’m wrong?”.
In the same manner you may face some people who are the very definition of rude. They may be sarcastic and caustic in their attitude and speech or just unwilling to listen. With these kind of people it’s ok to simply walk away. Matthew 7:6-7 says that we should not give what is holy to the dogs and not to throw our pearls before swine or they will trample them under their feet and turn that tear you to pieces. We have a message that is holy and while we must be willing to share it with all men there may come a point and time where we’ll be wasting our time and should simply walk away.
Second in this verse is the fool we must answer as his folly deserves. These would be people who have wrong or distorted views of Christianity and the gospel and have believed them for such a long time that they assume those beliefs are true because they’ve not encountered anyone who can offer them corrections in their understanding. They may be people who see football players praying before or after games and wonder why the God they’re praying to cares more about football games than starving children in India. They may be people who hear the message of the cross and see it as torture to appease an unfair and angry God. At the same time they’re people who are willing to listen to an alternate understanding. That the football players are not praying for victory but for God’s glory or for humility or safety. That the cross is God’s sacrafice of himself for sinful man who is born out of love for all of humanity. To not offer an answer to this kind of fool would be to let them continue on their way thinking they’re wise in their own eyes.
Conversations with people are not easy. Unfortunately there’s no class we’re required to take to help us communicate with one another. We just kind of figure it out as we go. Whatever principles and techniques we learn, whether good or bad, will also be carried with us into our life as Christians and our conversations with others. We all must improve in this regard and it starts with remembering who we are a witness and ambassador for, what message we are delivering, the character we are to show while presenting the message and the wisdom we are to display while maneuvering through the conversation.
